This tree is a beautiful tree that is blooming in our front yard. This tree is also the very thing that set a recent morning into a tailspin. Here's the story.
This tree had been begging for a photo-op and after a failed attempt on a rainy evening I seized the opportunity the next day as it was a beautiful, sunny morning. I grabbed our camera and stepped on to the front stoop, doing my best at playing nature photographer. Finished, I turned to go inside and found the door locked behind me. All I had was the camera in my hand; every other necessary item to live was behind my front door. I wasn't really sure what to do and decided to try breaking in. After breaking a glass pane, not intentionally by the way, in the storm window I gave up. Also picturing the headline, hysterical pregnant lady tries breaking in to own home, redirected me. So, I decided to walk to a local convenience store to use their phone as the neighbors I knew weren't home. A beautiful morning for a walk in ordinary circumstances but I was too distracted by the situation. I called Dustin knowing he was in a meeting and doesn't answer numbers he doesn't recognize but hoping God would nudge him. I called twice but after no answer and dirty looks from the store owner I knew I had to give up. Walking back home and now on the verge of tears and unsure what to do, I began to pray. Noticing that our neighbor had just pulled into her driveway, I decided to try our door one more time before asking her for help. I pleaded the name of Jesus but as the door did not miraculously unlock, I figured He had other plans. I knocked on the neighbor's door; she very kindly let me borrow her phone and offered to take me to work. She told me she normally wasn't home that time so "the good Lord must have been watching out for me." He certainly was!
Later on while eating lunch on borrowed money with a friend who graciously grabbed my camera from the driver seat of my unlocked car, (I know, I know...I was a bit flustered.) she told me she felt it on her heart to pray for me. She had prayed for peace when I needed it. Knowing how I was that morning and knowing how I could have been, (I mean, I made it through with no breakdown or tears and with the way my hormones have been, that is a miracle!) I know Jesus was with me. He didn't unlock my door but He still made a way and everything worked out, but it required me swallowing my pride and being willing to rely on something other than me.
Despite the irony it was a lesson I really needed. Having a baby changes everything, and one of the biggest changes is our decision to go from two incomes to one so that I can stay home with our baby. It is something Dustin and I both feel strong about but it is overwhelming and scary. Sacrifices are going to have to be made and adjustments will need to take place. This change will force us out of our comfort zones of our capabilities and what we bring and to rely completely on the Lord. He may not "unlock the door" by providing in obvious ways but I know He will provide in others once we step out in faith in Him. This goes for our future physical situation but also our spiritual one. I feel, as many of our friends have shared recently, that He is calling us into a new realm of trust, of stepping out and letting Him guide us. A friend posted the scripture below and I have taken it to heart as it came at the right time. Life is so much easier to handle when you know the One who goes before you. It's funny how wanting to photograph a silly tree can leave me with a few life lessons, a spiritual one and a story to remember.
"And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”