A Letter to my Grandpa Lou

Dear Grandpa Lou,

It's hard to believe that you are really gone. I was so sure I would get a chance to see you again, you

seemed to be doing well and we all thought you would soon be home. But the morning after March 15, 2013 I received a call from mom saying you were gone. I was blindsided and shocked, instantly full of regret and sadness but at the same time I had a sense of peace. Such an interesting combination of emotions and yet I felt them all, I remember sobbing on the phone as the news slowly sunk in. Death is so final for those here on earth, we're left with only our memories.

What I remember most of all was your sense of pride. You were so proud of your four boys and their accomplishments and you were so proud of your grandchildren and who they were growing up to be. I remember, personally, the pride you took in all I did. When I wanted to be a newspaper reporter and created "The Murray News" you wanted a copy of every single one. Mom and Dad told me you still had them all. You took pride in how many Girl Scout cookies I sold, the times I spoke at church, the Sunday school programs I did, the missions trip I went on. I remember when you worked at William & Sonoma and you took me to "Take Your Kids to Work Day." You were so very proud I was there and I am so glad I had that opportunity to go with you. I remember you taking me around and showing me everything, telling me what you did. I remember you introducing me to so many people, "this is my granddaughter!" you'd say and you would beam proudly as the introductions continued. I remember my high school graduation and my wedding. You stood tall, holding a piece of your jacket in each hand and told everyone, "I'm the grandfather, she's my granddaughter." You were convinced I was going to be the first female president or that I'd climb the corporate ladder and become a successful CEO. You had such great faith in me. In all of us.

I wish I had taken the time to tell you how much that meant to me. I wish, I hope, you knew that I realized you were always in my corner, cheering me on no matter what I did. As long as I gave it my all you were so very proud. I wish I could I have told you I loved you one more time. I wish I could have seen you one last time, I wish I could have said goodbye. I hate knowing that you will never meet my children. But I know you would have been so very proud. I can just see you proudly holding our new addition and I can hear you saying "this is my great-grandchild, I'm the great-grandpa." You'd beam and brag just like any wonderful great-grandpa would. I have so many regrets Grandpa Lou, so many what-if's but it brings me comfort to know where you are.

You spent hours at the church during all-night prayer and every chance you got we could count on you to encourage others to do the same. It was what gave you strength and got you through. And now, you no longer have to wait once a month for that time. You are now in the presence of the Almighty King and will be for an eternity. And best of all, all of those songs you sang here on earth you now can sing to your Savior face-to-face. I know you Grandpa Lou and I can just picture the pride and joy on your face as you stand tall, your head held high, your deep voice joyfully singing every word. And if there is an angel choir, you'll be directing it. You'll know every angel's name and what parts they sing. And you'll take great pride in singing in unity to your Heavenly Father "How Great Thou Art!"

We'll miss you here on earth but it helps to know you no longer feel any pain or sorrow. You're where you want to be and one day very soon we'll join you. Knowing you, you might introduce us to Jesus Himself saying, "this is my family Jesus" and you'll take us by the hand and sing praise to the only King right along with us. I'm looking forward to that moment but until then I want you to know that I will help keep your memory alive. I'll share my memories of you with my children and teach them the songs you taught me (remember teaching us "dem bones & bones & dry bones?"). They'll know all about their mom's Grandpa Lou, his pride in his children and grandchildren and his love for God, his family and his music.

I love you Grandpa Lou, thank you for always believing in me.

Love,

Your granddaughter,

Karissa